


S’échappe

by ElegantCrimes



Category: Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Attempts of suicide, Beautiful, Gay, I’m sorry, Mostly joshler, Multi, sorry this sucks, what else do i put
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-02-10 09:39:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 9,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12909270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElegantCrimes/pseuds/ElegantCrimes
Summary: Tyler Joseph finds his escape through church.Joshua Dun finds his through drumming.I’m not going to say it makes sense their paths cross, cause why would it?





	1. Escapes

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to suck. As much as I love to write, I’m not good at it.

Head tilted down, knees on the ground. He will ask, please. Save him.  
———  
The church service is beautiful. As it always is, every Sunday.   
Church isn't dreadful, it's an escape. It's... forgiveness. Wether you believe it or not, Tyler Joseph sure does. You see, he's a very optimistic person. He has been since he was young, and he intends to stay that way until his last breath.

But escapes vary in person. Take Joshua Dun for an example. His escape is beating the life out of a drum set. It all started when he was young. He was diagnosed with intermittent explosive disorder, which is a behavioral disorder that is characterized by explosive outbursts of anger. When he was young he was told to find a distraction, from the pain and anger the world often causes him. So if he gets an impulse of rage he just takes time to tap out a beat. It's pretty understandable, really. He takes medication for it, and really he is a sweet boy. Just ask anyone.

They each have their own demons. Their own distractions. They are so very different.... but yet, it's understood that opposites attract. Correct.


	2. Greetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There’s a boy that stands out to Tyler. Well, more than he should.

It all begins on a Sunday morning. The Sun beaming down over Columbus, Ohio.  
Tyler’s father, Chris, asked him to greet people as they enter the small church. His father is the pastor of Five14. It’s a beautiful church, to Tyler it’s basically home away from home.   
As he stands in the space of the double doors that have been opened wide, for everyone to get in, he smiles and greets them all with a simple ‘good morning’. Some of the people look tired, and lifeless, while others will smile and greet him back. The kind that smile always make him feel happier. It may be cheesy but he gets his joy from giving it to others. Tyler is a good kid.

There’s a boy that stands out to Tyler. Well, more than he should. It may be because he’s got bright blue hair. It’s crazy because Tyler has never seen this man before, and it’s strange because as the boy walks up to the doors Tyler swears he can hear his heart beating a mile a minute. Instead of Tyler’s ‘good morning’ he greets greets the man another way.  
“Are you new here?” He questions, and the boy shakes his head slightly.   
“That’s weird, I would remember a face like yours” and if Tyler’s face flushes in the slightest, he doesn’t know it.   
“N-not that you have a bad face... kind of the opposite of that but— what I’m trying to say is um I haven’t seen you around here before.” He clears his throat. Smooth.  
The boy speaks for the first time “uh yeah, my family has recently decided to start coming to this church... our old one wasn’t very.... accepting.” Then he nods like he is satisfied with his reply and smiles a bit.  
Tyler smiles and nods “awesome, well welcome to Five14, I’m Tyler.” He holds out his hand as blue haired boy takes it “I’m josh” and yeah, Tyler decides this is a boy he would love to get to know.


	3. Religious Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler looks around the room, and tells himself it is NOT because Josh is in said room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not sure how I feel about this story yet.

Once everyone is seated the service starts. Tyler looks around the room, and tells himself it is NOT because Josh is in said room. He spots his blue fluff of hair almost instantly though, and find it's odd how someone could dye their hair such a vibrant color, and how his parents would allow it. Tyler would never be allowed to do such a thing. Josh turns to meet Tyler's gaze moments after, as if he felt his eyes burning holes into his skin. Tyler immediately turns his head away, and wow... could he have been any more obvious?

Growing up in a super religious family, Tyler has always known himself to be... well, straight. But as many times as he tells himself that it's okay to know beauty when he sees it, he knows it's more than that. Tyler has found men attractive before, but he's also found women attractive, just not... in the same sense. Take his girlfriend, Jenna for an example. She's gorgeous, and Tyler can admit that. But he doesn't want... what every male teenager wants. Well not with her. Not with any female, actually. And Tyler has noticed this, but as I said. Super religious family. He knows it's not right to be leading Jenna on, like he is. But in his mind, if he pretends to be interested in her, one day he genuinely will be. Maybe he's wrong.


	4. Breathtaking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Sunday, it’s to be expected next is Monday. Which it is. But what’s not to be expected, is that blue haired boy, is at Tyler’s school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes.

After Sunday, it’s to be expected next is Monday. Which it is. But what’s not to be expected, is that blue haired boy, is at Tyler’s school. Now either he’s never noticed him... again. Or, he really is new, to this school. Wild.

So, Josh is definitely new to this school. Tyler has noticed he is in nearly all of his classes, and he knows that he would notice someone like Josh. 

When lunch rolls around, Tyler can see Josh is sitting off in a corner by himself, and decides that he needs to get to know this boy. Tyler is, well he’s curious. Josh is making him question, many things. And he doesn’t even know him. With hesitation Tyler slowly approaches Josh, slyly sitting next to him, and smiles genuinely.

‘Don’t make a fool out of yourself’ is what he keeps repeating in his head. Over, and over. Then he realizes he sat down about a minute ago and hasn’t even spoken a word. Tyler clears his throat “so uh, I noticed you were sitting alone, and I remember you from church. So I thought maybe I could keep you company” it came out as a question, and he wasn’t sure if he meant it that way. Oh well. Nonetheless Josh smiles slightly and nods “I’d like that, it’s Tyler right?” And to this Tyler nods “Tyler Joseph”.  
Josh laughs a bit, and Tyler wants to hear that a lot more, and if he’s lucky he will get what he wants. He considers himself a pretty charming dude. “Well, Mr. Joseph, I’m Joshua Dun.” And this time Josh smiles so wide that his eyes crinkle at the corners.  
‘Breathtaking’ Tyler thinks to himself, but when Josh stands up he almost thinks he said it out loud. Josh just keeps genuinely smiling “you want to go up to get lunch or do you want to keep staring at me?” He didn’t mean it, but Tyler still blushes and keeps telling himself this will be a great friendship, and it won’t become anything more, nor less. Yeah. Not at all.


	5. Bubblegum Rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Tyler! Will you re-dye my hair?” He asks with a glint of hope in his eyes, as if Tyler would say no.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, words are just flowing out of me. I’m not used to this, I hope you enjoy :)

It’s been a week since the blooming of a wonderful friendship, Tyler and Josh are almost inseparable. Almost. Anyways, Tyler has a huge crush on Josh, but that was to be expected. Yet he feels- no he knows Josh doesn’t feel the same way. He will keep telling himself that’s okay, cause of many reasons.  
1\. Tyler has a girlfriend.  
2\. Tyler is Christian.  
3\. Tyler has a very religious family.  
Come to think of it, almost all of them are based around Christianity, but the biggest reason of all is, who’s to say Josh is gay? But the question that always seeps it’s way into Tyler’s mind is, who’s to say he isn’t? And he hates it.  
Because being homosexual is a sin. A huge sin. When he looks at his parents he feels guilt, he feels like he’s a mistake. He didn’t want to be like this, but it’s not a choice. And maybe, if he had the choice, he wouldn’t change himself. But he probably would.

Tyler and Josh are currently hanging out, in Josh’s room. It’s filled with band posters hung on a dark red walls , almost maroon, maybe. And Tyler can’t help but to compare them to his plain white walls, his parents aren’t too keen on the whole bands thing. So he’s forced to have white walls with a tiny cross hanging above his bed. Tyler has always been insanely religious, so it has never even phased him and then Josh came along. And maybe there’s more to life than kneeling on the floor to confess your sins, and beg for forgiveness.

Josh suddenly gasps, causing Tyler to snap out of whatever trance he is in. “Tyler! Will you re-dye my hair?” He asks with a glint of hope in his eyes, as if Tyler would say no. Actually, come to think of it, Tyler hasn’t told the boy no since they’ve become friends. “Of course! Are you going to keep it blue?”  
“Pfft no. That’s lame, I’ve already done, purple, green, and blue. Sooo let’s do pink?” He smiles and quickly gets off the bed.  
Tyler laughs and does the same “Pink will look nice” but inside he’s thinking how good blue looks on him. Oh well.

They take a quick ride to the store and Josh picks out the brightest pink he can find. He almost looks like a kid in a candy shop, as he’s looking at all of the dye. If you were to ask Tyler, he could tell you how adorable he finds it. But he wouldn’t cause, he’s uh got a girlfriend. But then again it’s kind of too late for that. 

Once they get back to Josh’s house, he quickly washes his hair and blow dries it. “Joshhh I’m scared. What if I like, mess it up or something? I would hate myself.” Tyler whines.  
“Why would you hate yourself? It’s hair. It grows back.” Josh shrugs with a smile.  
“Yeah but your hair practically defines you.” He ruffles his hand through Josh’s hair.  
“Tyler. If you mess it up, I can just have my sister redo it. It’s no big deal. Don’t pressure yourself.” Josh puts his hand on Tyler’s shoulder, and Tyler can feel the anxiety melting away.  
“You’re too good to me.” He shakes his head and puts on his gloves.

Later on Tyler decides, Joshua looks a lot hotter with pink hair. Like.... a lot. He totally forgot about the blue. Okay that’s a lie but, he really likes the pink.  
“Wow.” He said as soon as Josh had walked out.  
“Do you like it? I thinks it’s sick” he runs his hand through his hair.  
“Josh, you look... hot” and that’s the moment the color pink takes over Tylers cheeks. He actually just said that.  
Yet Josh just laughs it off and that takes the weight off Tyler’s chest. He lets out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. What is Josh doing to this boy.


	6. Double Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh is a very confusing guy. One moment he will be talking about how hot some male celebrity is (which makes Tyler so excited inside) and the next moment he will be telling you he’s got a date with a girl named Debby.

Josh is a very confusing guy. One moment he will be talking about how hot some male celebrity is (which makes Tyler so excited inside) and the next moment he will be telling you he’s got a date with a girl named Debby. Like is he gay or not? Tyler has come to the conclusion that maybe he is bi, but he’s not sure if he’s concluding that because Josh actually seems like he is, or because he doesn’t want to lose hope that Josh could ever have the slightest interest in him.

After a couple weeks of dating Debby, Josh asked Tyler to go out for a double date, at which Tyler immediately accepted because, if the word date, and Josh are put together in any sentence he will be happy— let me rephrase that. Any positive sentence. Anyways, they are going out for the date tonight. And Tyler isn’t one to usually go all out to look nice for dates with Jenna, but since Josh is going to be there, he will attempt to look the hottest he can. But he will tell himself that it’s because it’s been a while since he’s been out with Jenna. Not because he’s jealous of Debby, and wants Josh to be jealous of Jenna. Nope.

Later at the date, Tyler is a bit overdressed. But no one seems to notice, which makes him make a sigh of relief. That would be embarrassing. Tonight, Jenna is all over him, and he’s pretty sure he knows why. They haven’t gone past kissing, yet. Jenna thinks it’s mostly because Tyler is so religious, that maybe he is waiting for marriage. And if she were to ask, he would tell her that exact reason. Yet, most of it relies on the fact that he’s gay. But he really doesn’t want to come to that conclusion yet, he’s just not ready.

“Tyler? Are you with us?” Jenna laughs and waves a hand in front of his face. Of course he nods and immediately looks to Josh, who has a look of... worry? There’s nothing to be worried about. Tyler is fine. It’s just some dumb crush, it will go away soon. At least that’s what he thinks and hopes. They walk into the movie theater, tonight they are seeing Everything, Everything. Which is some movie the girls picked out, even though both Tyler and Josh really wanted to see Spider-Man: Homecoming, boys will be boys. 

About thirty minutes into the movie, Josh senses Tyler isn’t having the best time. He then stands up and asks if Tyler will go with him to get some more popcorn. I’m sure Debby would have volunteered, but her and Jenna have been watching the movie in awe the whole time. They barely even notice Tyler and Josh’s absences.  
“Ty, are you okay?” Josh asks with a hint of confusion, mixed with worry.  
Tyler just nods “I’m fine” he mumbles.  
“No you’re not... what’s going on?” And this is why Tyler wishes Josh didn’t know him so well.  
“I uh...” he think for a long moment “I don’t want to be with Jenna, anymore.” Which really, isn’t a complete lie. It’s just not the complete truth.  
Josh goes to say something but closes his mouth. He takes a minute to think of what he wants to say “Well, that’s your choice. There’s plenty of girls out there, she doesn’t have to be the one. But you should probably consider why you want to break up with her before you do.”  
Josh says so genuine it hurts. Is he that oblivious?  
“Josh I’m gay” Tyler suddenly blurts out, guess he came to the conclusion anyways. Josh makes an ‘O’ with his mouth.  
“Okay.” He nods “that’s fine.” He shrugs and goes to get the popcorn.  
They don’t talk about it for the remainder of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh, is anyone liking this?


	7. Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Growing up Tyler would cry to himself at night. He was so confused why the god that created him, couldn’t accept who he had created.

Tyler isn’t sure what he expected. Well, he had a couple ideas of what he expected but none of them happened. Like, he thought things would be really awkward between him and Josh, but Josh still laughs with him, and hangs out with him like nothing happened. Which to Tyler, is both a relief and heartbreaking. There’s no reason to get into that, I’m sure you understand why he’s hurt. Tyler also thought the lord would punish him, like he was taught. Because he’s a sin, a disappointment if you will. But even if there is some higher power, I don’t believe that they are that twisted.

Growing up Tyler would cry to himself at night. He was so confused why the god that created him, couldn’t accept who he had created. That’s kind of messed up. Because really, love is not a choice. And now that Tyler has admitted not only to himself, but to the guy he likes, that he is in fact gay he’s found a new level of confidence. As crazy as that sounds, it’s true. Josh has accepted him, and really that’s all he needs. Sure, Josh may be one person in 7 billion, but he’s one that matters. But telling Josh is one thing, telling his family is another.

Which, telling his family is the within the next few steps. He will get there, eventually. But first, Tyler needs to accept himself. Which will be hard. Which is why even though he is sure Josh accepts him, he needs to know he supports him.  
“Uh Josh...” now Tyler meant to say that more confidently, but it came out more as a whisper.  
“Yeah?” Josh looks up from his phone for a moment.  
“I want to ask you something.”  
Then Josh puts his phone down, so his attention can be on Tyler.  
“Go for it” He smiles.  
“Okay uh... about me being... gay” he says slowly so he can make sure he’s saying the right words. He doesn’t just want to accidentally blurt out how he has a huge crush on his best friend.  
Josh nods and maybe deep down, somewhere he wishes that Tyler likes him, more than just some friend. Because, not that Tyler knows of course, but Josh likes him. Too bad life isn’t that easy.  
“I need to know that you support me. Because, right now I feel alone. I grew up in a family that for-bided me to be like this... And really what else do I classify myself as, other than a sin? Anyways.... now I’m just rambling—“  
“Tyler, of course I support you. I know how you feel.” And that’s what he leaves it at, because he is openly bisexual. Which is why his family had to move churches, the last church knew he was, and they started treating Josh so disrespectfully. The kids his age would call him a ‘fag’ and push him into walls. Once he was even sexually harassed, thankfully it never went further than kissing.  
Josh has forced himself to keep his sexuality on the low. Especially around Tyler, because he didn’t want Tyler to hate him. But I guess that all kind of changes now.  
“I don’t think you do, understand. And I wish you could. But it’s so... hard.” Tyler is beginning to feel choked up. Deep breaths.  
“Of course I understand... I uh, I’m bisexual. Long story, I’d prefer not to tell. I just, I understand.” Josh shrugs.  
Tyler wants to squeal, he really wants to. But instead he bites it back and smiles, but if Josh asks it will be because he has found someone who understands. Not because he just found out his crush is half gay.  
That’s when Josh’s phone rings and he hesitatingly answers is “yeah.... okay see you soon” he hangs up.  
“I promised Debby, we would go out today.” He smiles and Tyler almost swears he can see a bit of disappointment flicker in Josh’s eyes, but he wouldn’t bet money on it.  
Josh pats Tyler’s shoulder and leaves his friends house. Tyler takes a couple minutes to gather his thoughts and decides the next step is breaking up with Jenna.


	8. Heartbreak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As much as Tyler doesn’t want to do this, he knows he has to. For both of their sakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, last chapter for a while. I’m posting like twice a day. Woo.

The following day after his decision, he asks Jenna to meet with him at a local Starbucks. She loves coffee. As much as Tyler doesn’t want to do this, he knows he has to. For both of their sakes.

At the Starbucks, Tyler orders a black tea lemonade, and sits down. He’s has a few minutes to gather what he has to say before Jenna arrives. He never wanted to hurt her.  
Jenna walks in, looking stunning as usual. But she doesn’t look like the usual happy Jenna. She looks sad, almost like she knows what’s coming. She orders her drink and sits down in the seat across from Tyler.

Jenna has to know what’s coming cause she’s not even looking him in the eyes. “Hey” is all Tyler can manage to say.  
“Just.... tell me. And don’t tell me you didn’t want to meet with me for anything but to break up. You’ve been so distant lately. Come to think of it, you’ve been distant since we started dating. Is there something wrong with me becau—“ Tyler cuts her off “No there’s nothing wrong with you. There’s something wrong with me, and I just.. I can’t tell you. Not yet. I’m having such a hard time, and I know that’s no excuse” he shakes his head.  
All Jenna does his nod “I think I have an idea of what’s going on. And yeah I know, I’m supposed to be mad. Which really, deep down, I am. But I love you, you know that. I just wish it didn’t have to be like this... I wish you hadn’t led me on so you could become something you’re not. I should have known.” Tyler can see her eyes fill with tears.  
“Jenna.... I love you too. And I wish I would have. I really do. But my parents- and my church. It’s all so... crazy. Like, my parents have this life planned out for me. Which I used to think I wanted but I’m not so sure anymore. You know how my parents are, they could never accept who I am.” He let’s a few tears slip and puts his head in his hands.  
“They would stop loving me.” He whispers.  
“I don’t think they could stop loving you. Yeah, they will be pissed. I can’t even tell you for sure they will accept who you are. But, what I do know is that I accept you. And I know Josh accepts you. And deep down, I know you accept yourself. At some point you will have to. You can’t live in this constant fear of discrimination.” She stops herself for a moment.  
“You’re Tyler fucking Joseph. You know who you are. And if you don’t allow yourself acceptance, than you’re denying you to be... you. And only you can do that.”  
What did he do to deserve someone like her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to have Jenna be more mad, but she’s too sweet for that. Anywho.


	9. Disorder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first time it happens; meaning the first time Josh gets a wave of rage around Tyler. It scares the boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’m thinking I’ll post a chapter a day. If not then a chapter every other day.

The first time it happens; meaning the first time Josh gets a wave of rage around Tyler. It scares the boy. Because, he doesn’t know Josh has this problem. Josh never felt like sharing a part of himself that he wishes didn’t exist. But in this typical situation, he wishes Tyler would have known.

They were hanging out at Tyler’s house, as per usual. Josh doesn’t invite Tyler over to his house often, because his parents tend to fight a lot. So it’s safer for them both to stay at Tyler’s. But when Josh gets a message saying that his father hit his mother, he went ballistic. It took everything in him not to punch a hole through Tyler’s wall. So without a word he internally screamed and stood up, shaping his hands into fists. Tyler was confused as to why Josh’s behavior went from the usual to this. But before he got to ask Josh what was wrong, Josh stormed out of his house.

Josh started walking to his house, he wanted to punch his father. How dare a grown man hit a woman. That’s not in the Dun family’s nature. Josh stormed into his house, not knowing that Tyler silently followed him. He had to make sure Josh was okay. Josh demanded for his mother tell him where William— also know as Bill was, but she didn’t know. Apparently he ran off after the incident. Which is a good and bad thing. Good because now Josh knows he’s a coward and bad because now he doesn’t get to hit him.

Knowing that Josh has to get distracted he walks out of the house, and sees Tyler. He doesn’t want to hurt him, he fucking hates this disorder.  
“A-are you Okay?” Tyler asks quietly when he already knows the answer.  
Josh just shakes his head and walks to the nearest music shop. He’s friends with the owner so they always let him in so he can play the drums. Now that he knows Tyler is following him, he’s going to have to tell him why he’s acting like this at some point. But he can’t do it while he’s angry. So he walks into the shop and heads straight for the drums, taking a deep breath and playing them. Stunningly.

This is all happening so fast for Tyler it’s hard for him to comprehend. Of course he knows Josh is mad, thats obvious. But he has never seen someone immediately play drums while they were angry. It intrigues him.  
When Josh finishes a man comes out— two men, come out. One is tall and skinny, and the other is a bit shorter and more toned.  
“One of those nights?” The tall one asks causing Josh to nod “he hit her” he said almost in a whisper.  
The two men pat Josh’s back with sad looks on their faces, and this goes on until they spot Tyler.  
“Who’s this?” The shorter one asks.  
Josh gasps “shit. I forgot you followed me.... uh that’s Tyler. Tyler this is Ryan and Brendon” he points to each of them. The taller being Ryan and the shorter being Brendon.  
Tyler nods and smiles slightly “nice to meet you.”  
“Likewise.” Ryan says.

It takes a couple minutes for the awkward feeling to go away and then all four of them are sitting on the floor. Talking amongst themselves, going from Josh explaining his disorder to how amazing he can play drums and then to just saying nothing and everything all at once. That’s until Brendon lays his head in Ryan’s lap. That’s when Tyler gets confused.  
“Are you guys...” he gestures between them.  
This causes the other three to laugh.  
“Dating? Yes. Is it that obvious?” Ryan says with a smile.  
“I dunno I just thought you guys were best friends” Tyler shrugs.  
“That’s how it started. Until Bren here is like ‘I’m gay for you’ I swear it was the funniest thing but made the best day. I mean who just randomly says that?” Ryan laughs at the memory.  
“Shut up, you loved it.” Brendon smiles.  
“I can’t lie, I did.”  
“Guys stop being so gay, I’m going to puke” Josh laughs.  
Tyler can’t help but to think that could be him and Josh. But... little does he know, Josh is thinking the same thing.


	10. The Squad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It turns out, Ryan and Brendon are really cool.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t like this chapter, but here ya go.

It turns out, Ryan and Brendon are really cool. And Tyler has never really had too many friends, so when Ryan and Brendon offered for him and Josh to hang out sometime, he was more than willing to. 

They invited Tyler and Josh over Saturday, for a small party or whatever they called it. They are inviting a few more of their friends. They asked Josh to bring Debby so they could meet her, and at first he said no, but eventually he gave in. His excuse was that he doesn’t want them embarrassing him. But, maybe that’s not the real reason.

When Saturday rolled around Tyler found himself wishing he could invite Jenna. So he did, cause they are still friends right? She’s always the one that gets him out and makes him socialize, he would never do that alone. He picks her up around 5:00pm and takes her to Ryan’s place, since Ryan is 18 he gets to live on his own.   
There are about 11 people at Ryan’s house, and Tyler knows about four of them. So Brendon takes the opportunity to introduce him to some people.  
Firsts there’s Patrick Stump. He is apparently a genius as Brendon classified it, but Patrick felt the need to say that Brendon only thinks that because he’s not the brightest of the bunch. Oh and he also wears a fedora, but always with a different design or color. He says it makes him unique.  
Then, there’s Pete Wentz. He’s the badass, again that’s what Brendon said. They talked about this one time when they were all playing truth or dare and some guy named Dallon dared Pete to strip naked and jump into this random houses pool. Turns out the guy that owned the house was..  
Gerard Way. And supposedly he’s very artistic in every since the word. Brendon assured Tyler that one day he’d make ‘Gee’ show him some of his art work.  
Mikey Way, is Gerard’s brother. He’s also a bad ass, but is nothing compared to Pete, of course.   
Dallon Weekes, is the guy they call ‘Tree’, because of his height. At first impression, he seemed pretty intimidating to Tyler. But once they shared a conversation it turns out Dallon is pretty sweet.  
Hayley Williams, is very colorful. Brendon says she always has a different hair color, usually every other month. She kind of reminds him of Josh, and apparently they have been friends since they were kids.  
Ashley Frangipane, prefers to be called Halsey. She’s more interesting that way. According to Brendon, if he wasn’t gay and with Ryan she’d be the first he would go to. He earned a smack on the head from both Halsey and Ryan for that remark.  
Then of course we have Brendon Urie, who Tyler already knows. But, Brendon is a hyperactive guy. He has ADHD and talks a fuck ton. But that doesn’t bother anybody. He’s sweet.  
Ryan Ross, is also artistic, but according to him he’s nothing compared to Gerard. His real name is George, but if you call him that you get ‘kicked in the dick’. Brendon said that he wasn’t joking, Ryan would actually do that.  
Soon, Tyler got to meet Debby. And of course, she was amazing. He wanted so badly to dislike her. But he just couldn’t. 

It might have been Tyler’s imagination, but when Josh saw Jenna he looked... mad. Or disappointed... Tyler can’t really tell. And I guess it wasn’t Tyler’s imagination because Jenna noticed it too. They decided to just brush it off, like it never happened and joined in on a conversation with Pete and Dallon. They were arguing over who was better, Batman or Superman.   
Josh came up to Tyler and asked to talk to him for a second, so he walked away with him leaving Jenna to argue with the other boys.   
“So uh, why is Jenna here? Didn’t you two break up?” Josh asks suddenly.  
“Yeah but we’re friends now...” why would Josh care?  
“Friends?” Josh sounded a little angry.  
“Yeah? Does it matter?”  
“I— yes it matters. She’s your ex, Tyler”  
“Obviously” he rolls his eyes “but I still love her, even if it’s not in that way.”  
“So in what way?”  
“Josh why are you acting like this? It’s none of your business. It’s my life.”  
“It may not be my business, but it is a conflict of interes, because I like—“ He was cut off when Debby approached. Now Tyler has a reason not to like her.  
“Look Josh. It’s your girlfriend. Why don’t you go have fun with her instead of harassing me about my ex.” Tyler said bitterly before pushing past him and storming off.  
Josh never got the chance to tell Tyler how he felt that night, and Tyler wasn’t sure wether he wanted to hear it or not.


	11. Best Friends?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> if Josh really wanted Tyler, he’d go after him... right?

After the party, things went back to normal for Tyler and Josh. At least, that’s what Tyler was forcing himself to think. When in reality, Josh and him don’t hang out as often. This doesn’t mean Tyler feels bad for snapping at Josh, because he had no right to talk about his love life like that. Besides, if Josh really wanted Tyler, he’d go after him... right?

It’s 9:27pm, and Tyler’s mind is racing. This happens occasionally. Tyler overthinks pretty much everything. But this time he has a reason, Josh hasn’t talked to him in two days. And maybe for some people that’s okay, but Tyler knows his best friend. They never go a few hours without talking. So maybe he’s starting to let himself realize things aren’t back to normal.  
Tyler decides to text him,  
TyJo: Hey.  
Delivered 9:42pm.  
Read✔️ 9:43pm.  
With frustration Tyler texts again,  
TyJo: listen, I’m sorry if I did something wrong but you’re my best friend. Please talk to me...  
Jishwa: typing...  
Jishwa: that’s exactly it. Best friend. I care about you more than that.   
TyJo: And that’s my fault?!  
Jishwa: Yes! Because I shouldn’t be— I have a girlfriend!  
TyJo: I’m still not understanding why that makes your feelings my fault! If you want me just... just tell me!   
Delivered 9:50pm  
Read✔️ 9:50pm  
Tyler groaned waiting for a response. But he didn’t get one, well not for a couple minutes at least.  
Jishwa: I want you.  
And those three little words, made Tyler’s mind race.


	12. We Don’t Have Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Josh’s confession, of sorts. Things got.... complicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hah, you guys like how long it took me to update? Writers block sucks. Enjoy?

After Josh’s confession, of sorts. Things got.... complicated. Well of course they did. Josh has a girlfriend blah blah blah. And though Tyler wanted to be like “dump her. You want me, right?” He didn’t want to ruin what he has, or lack there of.

So he waited. And waited. Because he would wait forever for Josh if he had to. But he doesn’t have forever. Days passed and, well Josh still hadn’t ended things with Debby. He had kissed Tyler, once. They were hanging out like usual and well one thing led to another. There’s a possibility that Tyler has clung to that sensation on his lips since it happened. But only a slight one.

Tyler was on the verge of being done with him. He almost felt like Josh was playing with his feelings. And no one ever wants to be done with their best friend, but they also don’t want to be played by them either. So Tyler finally got the courage to talk to Josh about it all.

TyJo: you can’t have both.  
Delivered 6:27pm.  
Four words. That’s all he could say. Four words that could mean nothing, or everything to Josh.  
Suddenly Tyler’s phone dinged, he didn’t want to check it but his curiosity got the best of him.  
Jishwa: I know that. And you know what I want, and that’s you. But I can’t just... end it with her.  
Tyler groaned.  
TyJo: why? Are you scared? Josh I can’t wait around for you forever.  
Jishwa: I’m not asking for forever. I just need some time. And yeah, I’m scared.   
TyJo:..... I can’t give you any more time. I can’t give you what you want because I feel like you don’t know what that is.   
Jishwa: please don’t do this. Don’t give up like that.  
TyJo: it’s not giving up. It’s moving forward. I hope you’ll do the same. Bye, Joshua.  
Tyler turned off his phone and put it on the bedside table. He didn’t want things to end up like this, in such a dramatic way. But he couldn’t help it when the tears slipped out of his eyes as he laid back on his bed. He didn’t regret what he did. But Josh on the other hand. He did.


	13. Apologies Are Useless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Tyler had texted Josh his goodbye, Josh had an outburst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (: I would apologize but read the chapter title.

After Tyler had texted Josh his goodbye, Josh had an outburst. It was as if everything hit him at once. It was around 7 at night when he started walking to the music store, when a drunk driver was driving down the same street as the store was placed. Josh had been rubbing his eyes out of irritation when suddenly the car swerved and hit him straight on. 

It took about half an hour before someone had found the driver and Josh unconscious, and they were admitted into the hospital. Of course Tyler had no clue what was going on with his.. former? Best friend. He was sound asleep.

At about 1 in the morning Tyler was woken up by his mother telling him that Josh was in the hospital in critical condition. Apparently there was swelling in his brain, and he had to go into surgery almost immediately. Tyler started crying, but that’s to be expected. All he could think was ‘what if my last words to my best friend were to move on?’

Tyler’s mother took him to the hospital as requested by the boy. He hugged Josh’s mother, apologized for this happening; even if it wasn’t his fault. They all stayed there, hours and hours, until the surgery was done. They were updated that Josh was now in a coma. Which means he could either wake up any day, or he could never wake up again. Remember how I said Tyler was an optimistic person? Well right now he was feeling quite the opposite....


	14. Oh, Debby

Tyler visits Josh every day. Always making sure to touch him. Holding his hand, running his fingers through his faded pink hair. He wants to say the three words that could intensify everything. He feels them every time he looks— no. Thinks. About Josh. Which is pretty much always. But he can’t, he can’t because Josh may not feel the same way. He can’t, because Josh has a girlfriend. He can’t, because Josh is in a fucking coma. 

Tyler visits like he usually does. And holds Josh’s hand. When Debby walks in. And fuck, how did he not think about her? She is his girlfriend. So, respectfully but begrudgingly, he gets up and let’s her sit with him. He wants to yell at her, why wasn’t she here days ago? How isn’t she crying looking at him? Josh looks so... pale. So lifeless. 

“He could never wake up.” Debby sighs and looks at Tyler “he could— he could die.” She puts her head in her hands. Call Tyler rude but he wants to yell ‘yeah that’s pretty fucking obvious.’ But he restrains. Not for her, but for the broken boy laying in the bed, not even two feet away. “He could. But, you and I both know he’s stronger than that. He will pull through.” 

Tyler didn’t say that for her either. He said it for himself. He wanted to believe his words so badly. To know, one day Josh will wake up and smile that beautiful smile. Tyler can’t help but to think that he would give anything, to see that smile again. The way Josh’s eyes crinkle at the corners. The way his tongue pokes through his teeth just the slightest. Infatuation. That’s what this is. Tyler for Josh, is infatuated.

“So why weren’t you here days ago. Did you have something better to be doing?” He said suddenly and hoped his words stung.  
“No. I- I was scared.” She ran her hands through her hair.

“Scared? We’re all scared! His mother is scared. And his father, his sisters and his brother. I’m scared. That’s my best friend.” He pointed to Josh. “Yet we were all still here. Talking to him like he could talk back everyday. While you are still at home.” He scoffs. 

“I should probably go...” she stands up “yeah. Probably.” He nods and Debby leaves. And it took everything in him not to add ‘and don’t come back’ Does he feel bad? No.


	15. Don’t Wanna Hand You All My Troubles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s been two weeks, since Josh was put in a coma. Two. Whole. Weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really dislike my writing. So for those of you who are reading this, thank you.

To say Tyler had hope in the beginning was.... sort of true? And well, now.... it’s far from the truth. It’s been two weeks, since Josh was put in a coma. Two. Whole. Weeks. Tyler has visited every day. Even if Josh’s mother told him it was okay to miss out on a day. He went to church Sunday, as usual. But Josh’s family had tagged along with the Joseph’s. For Josh.

Yesterday, Tyler had laid with Josh. He asked the nurses if it was okay, and they told him it was fine. So he laid with him, and told Joshua that he was in love with him. Unsure if Josh could hear him or not, unsure of wether he wanted Josh to hear him at all. But he said it, because it was true.

He didn’t want the first time he said it to not be returned. But he wasn’t rejected, because Josh was in a coma. The statement was simply, just unanswered. 

Today, Tyler is reading a book. So he doesn’t realize when Josh’s fingers move. Or when his eyes gently flutter open. It takes a few minutes for him to realize Josh is actually awake. And he freezes. Cautiously puts down his book and runs out of the room to inform the nurses.

All the nurses rush in and take IV’s out of his arms, putting new ones in. Then shortly after the Doctor comes in to check his vitals and ask him a few questions, to see if his memory along with other things are intact. 

Though Josh doesn’t quite remember everything. Most things are still there. He knows his family, his friends, his girlfriend... He knows his personal information, like his name and age. But he doesn’t remember the night he was hit. 

The doctor; Dr. Ross said for everyone to let Josh rest. Which Tyler was lenient about, but he knew Josh needed it. So as everyone was filing out, Josh called him back. Unsure as to why, Tyler obliged and went to sit next to his bed.

“Hey.. how are you feeling? Kind of a dumb question huh? You just got out of a coma.” Tyler was rambling, but when your best friend was near the edge of death, you don’t really know how to come back from that.

Josh closed his eyes and nodded “I uh I’m in- pain. But, hey.... I could be dead. So— not too bad.” He smiled slightly. That made Tyler’s heart flutter. Even if it was a small one. “I- uh.. wanted to ask you something.” He said and looked into Tyler’s tired eyes.

“Which is?” Tyler’s heart was dangling by a thread, this could be about anything. Maybe the fact that Tyler had just told Josh he loved him not even 24 hours ago— “about what you said... that you uh... are in love with me?” Yup. Tyler was right. And the thread that was holding his heart, has been cut by one question.


	16. Don’t Wanna Give You All My Demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -“about what you said... that you uh... are in love with me?”-

-“about what you said... that you uh... are in love with me?”-

Tyler’s heart dropped. “Oh hah... you heard that?” He blushed slightly. Unable to form words at the moment. Not even able to look Josh in the eyes, scared he will see disgust in them.

“Yeah- I wasn’t sure if I should confront you about it or not.” Josh swallowed hard enough for Tyler to hear. 

“Well uh. Now that you have.... was there a question or?” Tyler’s throat felt it was tightening and tightening each second that passed. His anxiety kicking in. 

“No- well yes just, did you mean it?” Josh asked quietly and raised his eyebrows slightly.

“Y-yeah... I don’t just say things I don’t m-mean. You know that.” He answered and bit his bottom lip almost hard enough to draw blood. It was a nervous tick of his.

“And listen... I get it if you don’t feel the same way.” Tyler added, gaining a little bit of confidence. “You have a girlfriend. You said you wanted me, but I find it hard to believe. And I hated making you choose but I can’t wait around for you.”

Josh sighed and nodded “Tyler don’t act like that.... it’s not matter of if I want to be with you-“ he started to say but Tyler cut him off with a scoff “but it is.” Tyler blurted out.

“Debby doesn’t deserve to be dragged along into your stupid games. I broke it off with Jenna because neither did she. And quite honestly, I don’t think I deserve to be dragged into them either.”

“It’s not a game” Josh said defensively “I just I- can’t. All because of who I am, my parents had to change churches. They had to switch me and my siblings to different schools because we were all getting beat up daily.” He looked at his hands. “My dad is even leaving us because of it...”

“So this all comes down to you not being able to accept who you are, huh?” Tyler stood up “listen... I’m coming to terms with who I am, myself. I get that it’s hard. But your mom and siblings accept you. And I’m sorry that your dad can’t be a part of that but-

“I can’t even explain how lucky you are. Pretty soon I have to tell my family that the person they raised, and grew up with is gay. The kid they took to church every Sunday doesn’t follow all of their beliefs

“So I get it. But I’m not waiting. Not for you, no matter how much I care about you.” Tyler finished and looked down at Josh.

Josh grabbed Tyler’s hand “I- I love you too Tyler. But I’m not ready yet.” He wanted Tyler to understand so badly. And even if Tyler did understand, he couldn’t force him to wait.

Tyler leaned down and kissed him softly then pulled away with a sad smile “I hope the day you are ready, you’re not too late.” He walked out of the room.

“Me too...” Josh whispered to himself.


	17. Little Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler went home defeated. It all felt like a loop. Josh wanted him just “not yet”.

Tyler went home defeated. It all felt like a loop. Josh wanted him just “not yet”. Tyler wishes he would have never fell for his best friend. It complicated everything.

Josh had a decision to make. And in his head he knows exactly which to choose. To be with Tyler, obviously. But, he has this life set for him. A beautiful girlfriend. Popularity growing. 

Then he thinks about it. A beautiful girlfriend that he has no interest in. Popularity that won’t even matter in a year. Then it all becomes clear.... he’s so busy trying to create this image for himself. 

He’s created an image that satisfied literally everyone but him. And he’s the one who really matters. Which leads him to his decision.

But Tyler..... well he’s hurt. Josh should have chosen him immediately. If he mattered to him, Josh wouldn’t have had to think about it.

So... even if Josh is about to spill his heart out, only a few hours after their last talk: maybe it’s already too late. Maybe, instead of Tyler pining after Josh, Tyler will make Josh chase him just like he had to do.

.....maybe.


	18. How Many Broken Hearts?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Josh got out of the hospital, a whole two months later, he realized how little his best friend (or more? Maybe less?) had visited him after their “talk”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a filler.

After Josh got out of the hospital, a whole two months later, he realized how little his best friend (or more? Maybe less?) had visited him after their “talk”.

See, Tyler wasn’t avoiding Josh. He was proving a point. You can’t make someone wait and wait and then just decide what you want and demand it that moment.

So. Tyler’s point was simply that, if Josh actually had feelings for him the decision wouldn’t have been so hard. Even on some level he knows it was a hard one for Josh to make (not that he will say that out loud).

Tyler’s heart has been broken many times before Josh. And though he knows his best friend will treat him with the utmost respect... he won’t risk having his heart torn... again.

His heart has been pieced back together multiple times and you can only fix something so many times before it’s beyond repair. So for all he knows, maybe he can’t take another heartbreak. Especially not one named Joshua.

But after a long brunch with Jenna he realized he deserves to be with Josh. She told him multiple times that he needs to live a little and if his heart gets broken in the process it only proves he’s human.

Tyler knows Josh got out today because of Mrs.Dun, she always keeps Tyler updated. So he plans on waiting until Josh makes the first move, if he doesn’t... well then Tyler doesn’t know what he will do after that. One step at a time.


	19. Fading To Black

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One thing that kept bothering Tyler was the fact his parents would never accept him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heck. I’m sorry.

One thing that kept bothering Tyler was the fact his parents would never accept him.

They would send him to camp after camp, doctor after doctor, until his “disease” would be “cured”.

That’s the thing about Christian parents, they’re homophobic most of the time. Not to say they are all like that, you’ve heard of Josh’s parents. 

So how can you really accept yourself if you can’t tell your parents who you really are? Well... you can’t. At least Tyler can’t.

They want grandchildren, and even though Tyler plans on adopting a child in the (very) far further, that would never be enough for his parents.

This is what Tyler has spent his day thinking about. Overthinking about, that is. What if he got kicked out? What if they sent him away?

Josh has texted and called multiple times and Tyler hasn’t even so much at glanced at them. He hasn’t even touched his phone honestly.

It wouldn’t be fair to Josh, it wouldn’t even be fair to himself. He just wants to end it all. To erase time...... maybe even to be normal.

Living is too much. Too much thinking and worrying. So he can’t help but to think of what it would be like if he didn’t have to anymore. If he didn’t have to.... breathe.

He hurt Jenna. He hurt Josh. Disappointed his parents, possibly his whole family. Hell probably everyone he’s ever cared about.

Tyler is gay. That’s a sin, so the lord he’s spent all of his life believing in doesn’t even accept him... right?

He hates himself. He thinks of all the bullies he will gain. He thinks about how he doesn’t have to gain anything. All he has to do is lose one simple thing.... life.

His parents will think their son died straight. The perfect kid with perfect grades. The girlfriend that he isn’t actually with. It will end perfectly.

Tyler rushes to the bathroom, hot tears streaming down his face. He takes out a bottle of prescribed meds from the cabinet. They were his sleeping pills he used to take when he had.... issues. He hasn’t touched this bottle since he was 15.

Pouring the pills in his hand he pictures what his life was. Being as depressed as he is, he only remembers the worst parts.

When Josh didn’t want him, that’s what really hurts him. When he told his parents he was going to go to college for music. They hated the idea of their son wanting to pursue something so... idiotic.

But that will all fade very soon.

He pops the pills in his mouth and sits against the wall. Trying to steady his shaking hands. He pulls his knees up to his chest and his breathing becomes slower. Shallower and shallower. Seconds later his vision fades to white... then to black.

He hears nothing. Sees nothing. Feels... nothing. His heart is barely beating. His breathing is so faint its as if he’s not breathing at all.

Is this what peace is like? What death is like? If so.... Tyler doesn’t regret it. How could he? He’s not conscious.

So much for being optimistic until his last breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also uh I would love to get some comments from whoever reads this.


	20. I Won’t Let You Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> beep. beep. beep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof.

beep. beep. beep.  
—  
The first thing Tyler hears when he wakes up is machines. Beeping.

The first thing he sees when he wakes up is a boy with fluffy red hair, sitting in the chair next to his bed.

Though, the first thing Tyler feels is confusion. The next feeling is disappointment.

He can’t even kill himself the right way. To him it just proves what he already knows. He’s weak.

His parents don’t seem to be in the room. Figures. Who wants to see a lost cause? Surprisingly Josh.

He’s too scared to talk. What could he say? There was nothing to say. Well, nothing that wouldn’t make this situation any worse.

But, he doesn’t have to say anything. Josh sees he’s awake. He looks like he’s been crying. Tyler wants to cry too.

“What were you thinking? Were you thinking?” Josh asks angrily.

“I-“ Tyler grabs his head. See, what does one say to that? “Yes. No— I don’t know Josh. All I knew in that moment was that I wanted everything to just stop! And I failed at making that happen”

“Yeah. Thank God. Everything can’t just stop. You have to keep going. Everyday, even if it’s painful. Even if it’s too hard to bare. Because that’s living and there are people out there who are dying. You know how selfish that was for you to do?”

Tyler was crying at this point “Well if I was dead we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Which I expected to be dead. So honestly josh? I wasn’t thinking about the outcome. So I’m sorry your parents accept you. 

“ I’m even more sorry about the fact that they accept you but you can’t accept yourself. I’m sorry that you have amazing siblings that accept you, yet you feel like a burden.

“I wake up everyday knowing that my parents won’t like me. Yeah, maybe at some point you felt that too. But guess what? My feeling isn’t going to go away after I tell them that their son is gay.”

Josh looked baffled....

“Nothing to say? Yeah... didn’t think so. So if you have no other lectures that have no meaning to me, you can leave. My parents aren’t even here. You realize nobody wants me? So just leave.”

“Tyler—“ Josh reached out to hold his hand but Tyler moved his hand away “I want you to go. Please.... the disappointment in your eyes just proves what I already know.”

Josh shook his head “I am disappointed. Mainly in myself, for not choosing you before all of this happened. I just thought after all I put my family through... never mind. But I’m not leaving you. Because this time I need you to choose me.”

“Choose you over what? I’ve loved you since the day I saw you... it’s always been you who had to choose.” 

“I need you to choose me above everything else. Above you parents being unaccepting, above the urge you have to end everything. Just choose me, because I will never let you down. Ever.”

Tyler took a moment... “Okay. I choose you.” This time he let Josh grab his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is where the actual gay begins. I promise the rest is mostly just fluff. I’m thinking about 3 more chapters until it’s finished.


	21. Now and Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler’s POV,
> 
> I think things are going really well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo this is the last chapter. I literally took forever to write it. Procrastination can be a real bitch. Enjoy!

Tyler’s POV,

I think things are going really well. They sent me to rehab for three weeks, I talked to a therapist everyday and actually came out the other side feeling really good. 

As for Josh and I? Well, I couldn’t ask for a better person to love me. Which he does, part of rehab was to accept the fact that there are people out there who care about you. It’s hard because I spent most of my life pretending like that wasn’t true. And if you’re going through the same thing, don’t give up. I won’t say it will get better, but it CAN get better, you have to be willing to try. It all starts with you and that’s something I wish I would have realized before everything happened.

Don’t wait around for people to tell you how to act or how to feel, you are your own person. And you’re amazing.

Okay okay, enough of that (ily) my parents and I decided it was best to move out once I turned eighteen. I have no problem in that, they also agreed to start their road to accepting my sexuality. No matter what, loving who you love is not a sin. It’s part of being human, and that’s all we are.

Jenna started talking to me again, she found a great guy that can love her in ways that I couldn’t. And Debby? Well, her and Josh won’t be on good terms for a while... 

But if I’ve learned one thing from all this, it’s that there will always be a voice of doubt in your head. We are our own worst critics, that’s just how it is. But, you don’t always have to listen to that voice. It’s there because of uncertainty, trust yourself. Most importantly, love yourself. Believe in yourself, nine times out of ten, if you tell yourself you can do it. You can do it. 

Anyways...  
___  
“Tyler Robert Joseph, if I walk into this room and see you reading a book-“ josh bursts through my door and well... what can I say? Reading is my outlet. 

Josh groans and jumps onto the bed next to me, taking the book from my hands. “Hey! It was just getting to the good part” I groan and try to reach for my book, damn him and his long, strong arms..

“Nooo. You realize you have a boyfriend right? And that there’s a whole world outside these walls? Like, a whole world?” He gets off my bed, my book still in his hands.

I smile and sit up on my knees, looking up at him “of course I do, and I love you soooo much. We can do anything you want” I watch him loosen the grip on my book and that’s when I take my opportunity. I quickly snatch the book out of his hands and smile victoriously.

Josh groans and sits down in my desk chair “okay, fine. You win. Read your book and ignore me.” He takes out his phone and starts typing. I immediately feel bad and set down my book, crawling off the bed and taking his phone from him “I enjoy being with you way more than reading some book.” I sit in his lap and lean my head on his shoulder.

“Good. Because I was beginning to worry” he smiles and leans his head on top of mine. I could stay like this forever and be perfectly happy.

That’s when I realize, we all really do have our escapes. Wether it’s music, art, religion, or something else. That can change. If you were to ask me a year ago what my escape was I would have said that it was church. That the connection between myself and my religion was what I relied on most. But if you were to ask me now, I would tell you it’s this amazing boy with me. The one who I could rely on even when I couldn’t turn to something I’ve believed so strongly in my whole life. Joshua William Dun will now and (hopefully) forever be my escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got really stuck with this story. I think I started out rough, but I would love to do a sequel if anyone is down for that. I’m pretty sure it would come out better than this. Give me your thoughts!


End file.
